Sex as Male Bonding

(p. 205-208)

In some ways, "hooking up" (with girls) represents the ... general aversion of young men to adulthood. They don't want girlfriends or serious relationships, in part, because they don't feel themselves ready, and in part because they see relationships as "too much work". Instead they want the benefit of adult relationships, which for them seem to be exclusively sexual, with none of the responsibility that goes with adult sexuality - the emotional connection, caring, mutuality, and sometimes even the common human decency that mature sexual relationships demand. Simply put "hooking up" is the form of relationship guys want with girls.

Yet its a bit more complicated than simple pleasure-seeking on the part of guys, because as it turns out pleasure isn't the first item on the hookup agenda. In fact, pleasure barely appears on the list at all. If sex were the goal, a guy would have a much better chance of having more (and better) sex if he had a steady girlfriend. Instead, guys hook up to prove something to other guys. The actual experience of sex pales in comparison to the experience of talking about sex.

When I've just got laid, the first thing I think about -- really, I shouldn't be telling you this, but really is the very first thing before I've even like "finished" -- that I can't wait to tell my crew who I just did. Like, I say to myself, "Omigod, they're not going to believe that I just did Kristy!" -- Ted, a 21-year old junior at Wisconsin University.

Hooking up may have less to do with guys' relationships with women and more to do with guys relationships with other guys. "Its like… the girls you hook up , they're, like a way of showing off to other guys," says Jeff, a proud member of a fraternity at the University of Northern Iowa. I mean you tell your friends you hooked up with Melissa, and they're like 'whoa, dude, you are one stud!' so I'm into Melissa because my guy friends think she is so hot, and now they think more of me because of it. It’s totally a guy thing."

He looks a bit sheepish "don’t get me wrong," he adds, with little affect "I mean Melissa is nice and blah blah blah.. I like her yeah."

"But," he lights up again: "The guys think I totally rule."

Jeff's comments echo those I heard from guys all across the country. Hooking up is not for whatever pleasures one might derive from drunken sex on a given weekend. Hooking up is a way that guys communicate with other guys - its about homosociality. Its a way that guys compete with each other establish a pecking order of cool studliness and attempt to move up in the rankings.

"Oh definitely," says Adam , a 26-year old Dartmouth graduate now working in financial services in Boston. "I mean why do you think its called scoring? It’s like you’re scoring with women, but your scoring ON the other guys. Getting over on a girl is the best way of getting your guys approval.

His friend, Dave, 28, sitting next to him at the bar is also a Dartmouth graduate. He nods, "Its not ... a simple tally, ... Its like WHO did you get? That’s how my guys, well... That's how we evaluated you for membership in the worldwide fraternity of guys."

They both laugh.

References for "Sexual Orientation" is a Western and invalid Concept

1. ^ The Psychology of Sexual Orientation, Behaviour, and identity By Louis Diamant, Richard D. McAnulty;Published by Greenwood Publishing Group, 1995; ISBN 0313285012, 9780313285011; 522 pages; Quote from page 81: Although sexual orientation is a loaded Western concept, the term is still a useful one, if we avoid imposing Western thoughts and meanings associated with our language on non-Western, noncontemporary cultures.
2. ^ The Handbook of Social Work Direct Practice By Paula Allen-Meares, Charles D. Garvin; Contributor Paula Allen-Meares, Charles D. Garvin; Published by SAGE, 2001, ISBN 0761914994, 9780761914990 733 pages; Quote from page 478: The concept of sexual orientation is a product of contemporary Western thought.
3. ^ Sexual behavior and the non-construction of sexual identity: Implications for the analysis of men who have sex with men and women who have sex with women. Michael W. Ross & Ann K. Brooks; Quote from Page 9: Chou (2000) notes in his analysis of the lack of applicability of western concepts of sexual identity in China, just because a person has a particular taste for a specific food doesn’t mean that we label them in terms of the food that they prefer. A similar approach to sexual appetite as not conferring identity may be operating in this sample. McIntosh (1968) has previously noted that people who do not identify with the classic western, white gay/lesbian role may not necessarily identify their behavior as homosexual
4. ^ Transnational Transgender: Reading Sexual Diversity in Cross-Cultural Contexts Through Film and Video; Ryan, Joelle Ruby; American Studies Association; Quote: Many of the projects which have historically investigated sex/gender variance in non-Western contexts have been ethnographies and anthropological studies. Due to strong and lingering problems with ethnocentrism, many of these research studies have attempted to transpose a Western understanding of sex, gender and sexuality onto cultures in Asia, Latin America and Africa. Terms such as “homosexual,” “transvestite,” and “transsexual” all arose out of Western concepts of identity based on science, sexology and medicine and often bear little resemblance to sex/gender/sexuality paradigms in the varied cultures of the developing world.
5. ^ Sexual Orientation, Human Rights and Global Politics Matthew Waits, Department of Sociology, Anthropology and Applied Social Sciences, University of Glasgow, United Kingdom; email: m.waites@lbss.gla.ac.uk; web: http://www.gla.ac.uk/departments/sociology/staff/waites.html ; Quote from the Abstract: The paper problematises utilisation of the concept of 'sexual orientation' in moves to revise human rights conventions and discourses in the light of social constructionist and queer theory addressing sexuality, which has convincingly suggested that 'sexual orientation' is a culturally specific concept, misrepresenting many diverse forms of sexuality apparent in comparative sociological and anthropological research conducted worldwide. I will argue in particular that 'orientation' is a concept incompatible with bisexuality when interpreted within the context of dominant dualistic assumptions about sex, gender and desire in western culture (suggested by Judith Butler's concept of the 'heterosexual matrix'). I will discuss the implications of the this for interpreting contemporary struggles among competing social movements, NGO and governmental actors involved in contesting the relationship of sexuality to human rights as defined by the United Nations.
6. ^ [1] McIntosh argues that the labelling process should be the focus of inquiry and that homosexuality should be seen as a social role rather than a condition. Role is more useful than condition, she argues, because roles (of heterosexual and homosexual) can be dichotomised in a way that behaviour cannot. She draws upon cross-cultural data to demonstrate that in many societies 'there may be much homosexual behaviour, but there are no "homosexuals"' (p71).

Dude you're a fag

High school and the difficult terrain of sexuality and gender identity are brilliantly explored in this smart, incisive ethnography. Based on eighteen months of fieldwork in a racially diverse working-class high school, Dude, You're a Fag sheds new light on masculinity both as a field of meaning and as a set of social practices. C. J. Pascoe's unorthodox approach analyzes masculinity as not only a gendered process but also a sexual one. She demonstrates how the "specter of the fag" becomes a disciplinary mechanism for regulating heterosexual as well as homosexual boys and how the "fag discourse" is as much tied to gender as it is to sexuality.
Contents
Acknowledgments

1. Making Masculinity: Adolescence, Identity, and High School
Revenge of the Nerds
What Do We Mean by Masculinity?
Bringing in Sexuality
Rethinking Masculinity, Sexuality, and Bodies
Methodology
Organization of the Book

2. Becoming Mr. Cougar: Institutionalizing Heterosexuality and Masculinity at River High
River High's Gender and Sexuality Curriculum
Pedagogy: The Unofficial Gender and Sexuality Curriculum
School Rituals: Performing and Policing Gender and Sexuality
Gender and Sexuality Regimes

3. Dude, You're a Fag: Adolescent Male Homophobia
What Is a Fag? Gendered Meanings
Becoming a Fag: Fag Fluidity
Embodying the Fag: Ricky's Story
Racializing the Fag
Where the Fag Disappears: Drama Performances
Reframing Homophobia

4. Compulsive Heterosexuality: Masculinity and Dominance
A Stud with the Ladies
Getting Girls
Touching
Sex Talk
Girls Respond
I'm Different from Other Guys
Females Are the Puppets

5. Look at My Masculinity! Girls Who Act Like Boys
Tomboy Pasts
Rebeca and the Basketball Girls
The Homecoming Queen: Jessie Chau
The Gay/Straight Alliance Girls
Embodying Masculinity

6. Conclusion: Thinking about Schooling, Gender, and Sexuality
Masculinity at River High
Theoretical Implications
Practical Steps

Appendix: What If a Guy Hits on You? Intersections of Gender, Sexuality, and Age in Fieldwork with Adolescents
Notes
References
Index
About The Author
C.J. Pascoe is Postdoctoral Scholar with the Digital Youth Project at the Institute for the Study of Social Change, University of California, Berkeley.
Awards
Outstanding Book Award, American Education Research Association

Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men's heterosexual relations

Dr Michael Flood

Abstract

Cutting-edge scholarship in Women’s Studies and Sexuality Studies recognises that gender and sexual relations are organised in part by local contexts and communities, personal and social networks, and other axes of social differentiation. Yet these insights only rarely have been applied to or tested among heterosexual men. This paper extends contemporary theorisations of gender, sexuality, and social life by examining the homosocial organisation of men’s heterosexual relations. Qualitative research among young straight men finds that their sexual relations with women are structured and given meaning by their social relations with other me n. Homosociality organises the male- female sociosexual relations of some young heterosexual men in at least five ways. First, male- male relations take priority over male-female non-sexual relations, and platonic friendships with women are dangerously feminising and rare if not impossible. Second, sexual activity is a key path to masculine status. Third, other men are the audience, always imagined and sometimes real, for one’s sexual activities. Fourth, heterosexual sex itself can be the medium through which male bonding is enacted. Lastly, men’s sexual storytelling is shaped by homosocial masculine cultures. Assessing the workings of male homosociality is significant in theorisations of both heterosexuality and masculinity.

Bionote
Dr Michael Flood is a Lecturer in the Centre for Women’s Studies at the Australian National University. His research interests include feminist scholarship on men and masculinities, sexualities and especially heterosexuality, interpersonal violence, sexual and reproductive health and HIV/AIDS, and boys and youth cultures.

Citation
Flood, Michael (2003) Men, Sex and Mateship: How homosociality shapes men’s heterosexual relations. Paper to (Other) Feminisms: An International Women’s and Gender Studies Conference, University of Queensland, 12-16 July.

.....

Marriage reduces dementia risk

The Times of India
New Delhi
Saturday, Augurst 02


Being single in middle age might increase risk of dementia. But being married halves the chance of developing Alzheimer's disease, says a study. A team at Karolinska Institute in Sweden has carried out the study and found the imporance of clse comapanionship in midlife -- and in fact, those who stay alone after divorce have a threefold risk of suffering Alzheigmer's in later life. According to researchers, the study has highlighted a higher risk of developing memory and cognitive problems for all those who live alone, whether single, divorced or widowed -- the reason to a great extent being social isolation.

Men just tuned to lust: Study

20 Jul 2008, 2359 hrs IST,PTI

TOI

LONDON: Men are tuned to lust, irrespective of whether they found the women next to them attractive or not, a study has suggested.
Men have for long been seen as judging women on looks alone, but a study has now shown that the increase in male sex hormone level was not influenced by the perceived attractiveness of the women.

Human testosterone triggers an automatic reaction which has evolved in man when faced with a woman, to look for mating opportunities, and it does not matter if the woman is not attractive, the research reveals.

The research, published in the journal Hormones and Behaviour , suggested that the levels of their testosterone surged to the same extent whether they were talking to an attractive woman or someone they may not fancy at all.

The research involving 63 male students aged 21 to 25 found that their testosterone levels increased by an average of around 8% after just 5 minutes exposure to a stranger from the opposite sex and in some cases to women they not find particularly attractive.

"We found a testosterone increase after only five minutes of exposure to a woman. Our results suggest that the increase in testosterone levels that we found, may be an automatic male response that activates receptors in organs and the nervous system to prepare the human body for mate attraction," said Leander van der Meij, who led the study at the University of Groningen in Holland.

He said with the increase in testosterone levels males tend to display more dominant behaviour.

"They talk more with their hands, there is more eye contact, their posture is more upright, and they are more likely to tell stories designed to impress the woman. We know that women can be attracted by these kinds of things. All this, we believe, may be fuelled by the rise in testosterone that we have found," said der Meij.

Aggressive males showed greater rise in testosterone levels, an idea supported by research that men who exhibit more dominant-like behaviour tend to make more frequent successful contact with females.

In Brief Rams Will Be Rams

By Rams Will Be Rams

Sunday, July 4, 2004; Page BW07

Joan Roughgarden is a professor of biological sciences at Stanford Univeristy -- and a woman who was once a man. As such, she has a keen interest in sexual variation, a subject she addresses in Evolution's Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People (Univ. of California, $27.50). One of the many surprising scientific findings she reports is that exclusively straight male bighorn sheep -- those who do not engage in sex with other males -- are, from many points of view, "effeminate." "These males are identical in appearance to other males," she writes, "but behave quite differently. They differ from 'normal males' by living with the ewes rather than joining all-male groups. These males do not dominate females, are less aggressive overall, and adopt a crouched, female urination posture." Meanwhile, most male bighorn sheep are busy having intercourse with both females and other males. "This case," as Roughgarden adds, "turns the meanings of normal and aberrant upside down."